Thursday, 12 July 2007

Todos iguais...

Com tanta diversividade, admirem-se se a União Europeia vai andar às turras durante ainda muito tempo.
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
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4 Comments:

At 18/7/07 00:55, Blogger S. said...

In the meantime, Portuguese have put into practice their most effective defensive strategy, posting "Welcome" and "For Sale" signs everywhere, from the land borders and airports, all the way to the beach coast. If these fail, "We'll Take it Up The Ass for Euros" signs are already being printed.

 
At 18/7/07 10:23, Blogger asterisco said...

S.:
HAHAHA!!
Half-german-portuguese have sworn not to uphold the promise of the last sign. Instead, they have created a sign: "We'll be standing right behind you", which has prompted mixed feelings.

 
At 18/7/07 19:47, Blogger S. said...

LOLOLLLOLLLL...és o MESTRE!!
(E esta é a faixa que vou ostentar sempre que estiver na tua presença...ah, e eu ainda sou árabe por parte do meu avô!!)

 
At 20/7/07 17:12, Blogger asterisco said...

S.:
Hahahaha! Árabes também são bem-vindos à fila.

 

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